ah.
back in madison, my friends say that summer has effectively just started.
that's really iffy, seriously.
heard it's been raining all summer, too.

thank God it's nice out now though, moving in's kinda fun i guess, but i'm wary of the fact that the close proximity in the apartment can potentially make or break the friendship.

kinda scary to recognize this as a turning point in life, or in the relationship.

it's nice having my closest friends (for now) right next door or upstairs haha, talking's SO much easier.
as soren and i were talking about earlier, the quality of communication decreases from person-to-person contact, phone-contact, netchat-contact to email-contact to... sheer nothingness.

which i why i was so kan chiong to spend quality time with pple back home, sorry if anyone felt that i came across obsessed with 'highend' conversations. :[ i got a little reminder from a dear friend that he was just... scared of me. coz of that.

*whatdoido?*

anyway i have to get to bed to TRY to sleep, i can't stand jetlag.

and oh, guys who complimented me on my now-functional comments page, i have NO stake in it. no credit due to me, i just changed the background of the blog and it all worked out. :]

WHOOHOO!! :]

oh man.
hang on.
it's kinda freaky now, seriously.
i hear a football match playing in my head, a loud one with whistles and cheers and all sorts of fan-stuff. and the commentator's yelling as the american footballers stampede across the grass. no waves yet, no styrofoam fingers points yet, but lotsa screaming that's juxtaposed with the silence of some who are intently observing the play.

MAN, i need some sleep.

be back soon. ;]

PURE JOY.

silky, smooth joy that courses through my veins; the same kind of feeling I get when I take off my ankle weights and high jump with an unburdened heel and a weightless soul.

OOH.

my heart's been unshackled!
my mind's been freed!
my life is restored, not to what it was before I learnt, but to a higher, wiser plane.

"that's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, i like it, uh-huh uh-huh"

this is a tad late (considering I got the news of his current girlfriend a month or so back), but I can still feel that jubilance.

honestly it's unbelievable that I feel such deep joy, such... HEART, for them.

you know, *hey God* this is for You.

I think this is undeniable evidence that God is transcendant in the deepest, most scarred part of my life. I honestly had never felt hurt as deep as that in my life. It wasn't just that I felt loss, in a sense, but I felt that I had started chewing on myself.

just gnawing away at my own heart that made me lose myself for an instance, that made me jaded and cynical at even the springtime tulips.

BUT, thank God.
i honestly am going to put an update on my summer on after this, when I have of this bittersweet notion called time.

A whiff of what can be yours, if you want it, coz I've had a tantalizing taste:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7